This year I’ve made another human being. It wasn’t planned and it wasn’t easy. I think if you had told me last year that I would have a daughter by the end of 2017, I would have laughed, cried, and maybe fainted. But, here we are – I have my own little family now, and that’s pretty fucking magical when you think about it.
Looking back on this year my pregnancy is the thing I mainly remember, plus a lot of bad mental health days. It’s been another year of unsettled living for my SO and I, but it looks like 2018 has a much more solid plan for us already (at least, accommodation-wise).
Anyway, here is my round-up of the best of 2017. Here’s to a great 2018.
This is one of those posts that I need to re-read often. Even though my life currently revolves round my daughter instead of any career, this blog post still fits the bill when describing how life never really goes to plan, but without those disruptions or changes of path, we would have missed out on a lot of life experiences.
Best bit: “As long as we re-write our plans when they aren’t making us happy anymore, then we are not failing.”
I wrote this after watching an episode of Girls. I was pretty upset by it and had to go for a long, stress-releasing run. I then wrote this. I think it’s one of my more powerful posts – what do you think?
Best bit: “I hope they are being taught about having a positive self image and not needing the approval of others. If they aren’t, then this is for them.”
Even though I’m not 100% healed, not 100% over my anxieties or depression, I like how this blog post describes some sort of recovery, however small.
Best bit: “She’s got more control over how she feels. She’s got more people who support her. She’s wearing her favourite Ravenclaw hoodie that she got for Christmas. She’s doing alright.”
I’m still holding on to this image of my perfect day. It will happen, it is going to happen, and I can’t wait for it.
Best bit: “Next we will go off to bed. We’ll talk about whatever we want and cuddle, because we’re still as sappy as we were at the start. We’ll drift to sleep easily and await a similarly lovely day to begin.”
This was quite the story to tell, and I couldn’t wait to tell it. It was the shock of our lives but now we have something oh so special because of it.
Best bit: “There is a part of me that already feels protective over this child, that is very curious about how the baby is developing (even though it is kinda gross), and that already thinks that the baby is a girl (perhaps ‘hopes’ is a better word).”
Sometimes you have to celebrate the things about yourself that you could see as a flaw. Being sensitive has never really been seen as a good thing (keep calm and carry on), but really, if it is part of who you are then why feel ashamed of something that only makes you more empathetic? More in tune with other people?
Best bit: “It shows that I’m not afraid to be upset, emotive, or myself.”
This post sort of started a sort of friendship with the stranger that it is about, so I couldn’t not include it in this list.
Best bit: “It’s as if I am falling in love with a stranger.”
A tough post to write (I’m pretty sure there were tears involved) but therapeutic nonetheless. The responses I got from it were so wonderful and supportive – it’s my favourite kind of feedback from anything that I publish.
Best bit: “We all have stories of survival.”
This is something I hope my daughter reads one day.
Best bit: “Everybody has tough times, everybody makes mistakes, everybody tries to survive the best they can. You’ll be no different, and I’ll be there for you, whenever you need me.”
A love letter to my SO, without whom I promise you I wouldn’t be here today.
Best bit: “But I know that you’ll stick by me no matter what because luckily for me, you love me as much as I love you. And I know that our daughter will be just as obsessed with you as I am.”
This post was basically a journal entry that sort of turned into a blog post.
Best bit: “Then I remember that at one point I did have all those things, and that in the end, they did nothing for me.”
I guess I like how this post came about, how it turned from something a little sad to something that I wish to celebrate.
Best bit: “I try to take it all in, remembering that these days will never come again, cherishing them for what they are – precious memories that I’ll be looking back on in a year’s time, wishing I could relive them once again.“