what to do as a revenge porn victim, revenge porn help, revenge porn support, revenge porn victim, image based sexual abuse, this stuff is golden, lauren grace evans,

8 Things To Remember If You Have Been Affected By ‘Revenge Porn’

trigger warning: sexual abuse, image-based sexual abuse, depression

It’s been over 4 years since I found out that somebody had uploaded and shared intimate images of me onto the internet without my consent. 4 and a bit years of being a victim/survivor of “Revenge Porn”.

I have written about what happened to me not just on here, but on The Establishment, on Elite Daily and Huffington Post. I’ve also been even more public about it, talking to BBC radio hosts, recorded for a BBC news segment, appeared live on TV (through Skype, thank goodness), and most recently, interviewed for Miss Vogue.

Trying to help

After these things get published, I tend to get emails from other victims. It’s really sad to read these emails, but I am glad for them, because at least I’ve been able to provide them with a safe space to tell someone their story, their pain. I try to give them good advice and direct them to really good services that help victims.

When I read the pain, see it, hear it in the emails, I feel it all over again. Sometimes it is as if I have lived their pain in a previous life, I have forgotten for a little while how much “revenge porn” has affected my life. I wish I could magic it all away for them, for everyone.

Here are some of the things that I tell them in my replies:

  1. It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.
  2. This does not define your life.
  3. Those who judge you for what has happened are not worth thinking about. They are victim-blaming you, and that is utterly unacceptable.
  4. You can find help and support. There are several services that you can turn to (see the below list).
  5. “Revenge porn” is a harmful name made up by the media. This crime has nothing to do with “revenge”. The only motivations that your perpetrator had to do this crime was; a) power over you and b) the belief that they could get away with it.
  6. You can get through this. There is a period of shock, depression, anxiety and paranoia (and that’s just off the top of my head). It’s a horrible, horrible thing to go through, but you can get there.
  7. I’m here for you. Email me if you need to talk.
  8. It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

Resources (where to get help)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.