We really can be our own worst enemies.
Our inner voices can be our biggest bullies, putting us down at every turn, or worrying about every decision we’ve ever made. As a mixture of things we have heard others say to us, and what we think the world expects us to be, inner voices are what turn us into the insecure beings that we see in the mirror.
Mental illness is like giving that inner voice a huge weapon or the cake Alice eats to grow. It makes those negative comments stronger and overwhelming, turning ourselves into someone we don’t want to know or be anymore.
I have told myself that I’m weak and worthless, that I don’t deserve anything – not food, friends or love, that I should just get it over with and not exist anymore. Those are horrible, horrible things to think about yourself, but unfortunately, that is how mental illness works sometimes.
When facing such a powerful and nasty inner voice, kindness to yourself is extinguished. You are at your lowest and yet you don’t cut yourself any slack.
Now imagine if your close friend was feeling the way that you did about themselves. Maybe you know how that they have felt this way because you’ve spoken about it and tried to comfort them. What if you said to them the things that you had said to yourself? That they were weak, that they didn’t deserve to eat, or to live?
Exactly, it is horrible to just think about saying that to somebody you care about. This is why self love, self care, and generally being kind to yourself is so important. Yes those awful thoughts are going to appear if mental illness is taking over, but when you’re having a better kind of day, you can give yourself that same comfort you’d give to a friend who is having a hard time.
It can be simple things like cooking your favourite meal, ordering in naughty magic food (what I have personally nicknamed a take-away), watching your favourite cartoons, or that movie that you know every line of. Reading a book, having a bath, going for a walk, calling your favourite person, eating a whole cheesecake – whatever makes you feel even the tiniest bit better is worth doing for yourself.
So try to remember to give yourself the same kindness you would give to a loved one who is going through the same thing. You deserve to look after yourself. You deserve some comforting.