We had a long Christmas and New Year break – family stayed with us from mid-December til late December, and then we spent a week with the other half of our family, returning home on Friday 4th.
The festive break is an overwhelming time for many. It’s the much anticipated and highly consumable part of the year in which you are most likely not working, and instead spending time with family, eating and drinking more than usual, sitting on the sofa watching Chicken Run for the 127th time (not that that is necessarily a bad thing, because that movie is brilliant, apart from Ginger getting with Mel Gibson’s character in the end, because hello, he’s a cock, and I mean that in the non-animal way).
If you are lucky enough to have a somewhat-functioning family, all those things are great – it doesn’t take long to get used to days filled with less routine and more relaxation.
Whilst we very much appreciated the chance to hang out with both sides of our family, as well as have several extra pairs of eyes to look after our daughter, we had an uncomfortable kind of itch.
As many people do at this time of year, we were feeling ready to be productive in our lives, we wanted to start changing things for the better. We wanted to get things going again, to finally and successfully start rebuilding our lives after several tough years, but we had to wait for the festivities to be over, so that we could finally focus on what it is we want.
We are back home now, the decorations are down, Christmas has been hoovered away. So, now what?
I don’t really know. It all seems to easy when it is something you’re planning to do tomorrow, or next week, or next month. It seems to be within arms reach, on the tip of my tongue. But now that it’s time to get it done, make some decisions, start the wheel of change – it feels overwhelming and impossible.
I’m not sure what changes we are going to make or where we will go by the end of this year, but I know that change will come anyway, whether we want it or not, because that’s just how life goes, right?
There are things I want to do, mostly big things that I’ve always been afraid of doing (because of lack of self-esteem, my inner saboteur, mental illnesses). I’m hoping this year will be the start of things, good things, and I hope to keep you all along the ride with me.
I cannot say whether things will get better if they change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.
– georg C. Lichtenberg