A Note To My Younger Self

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By Ivy Iris

When I was thinking about my life and reflecting on my decisions and the consequences that followed, I thought about what I may want to do differently. I thought about the wise words of my mother and late father and I began to tear up.

At the mere age of 29, I have felt slightly battered by my past, as I am sure everyone does, and I thought about words of strength or hope or build faith. But then it hit me. The only advice I would give to me younger self is “well done and I love you” I know this is not really advice but hear me out.

We all feel that we could have done something differently or handled a situation better. However, what butterfly effect would that have caused. Yes I would have been more grateful for my family, was less moody as a teenager and spent more time with my father before he passed away. But those moments taught me lessons about time being precious and be kind above all else which I may not have learnt those lessons otherwise.

So instead, I want to say well done. I’ve coped well and I am still standing. Because in this world, we are all a bit too quick to criticise and find faults within ourselves. We should be taking the time and building ourselves up. We need to love the crap out of ourselves in order to survive. We need to gave ourselves a break because life is hard and it’s cold.

So to my 18 year old self, who just lost her father and her life was falling apart and to the 21 year old graduate at her graduation, to the 22 year old postgraduate student travelling 100 miles two days a week to university, to the 24 year old female who walked away from her unhealthy relationship, to the 28 year old woman tangled up in the safety net, and finally, to the 29 year old typing this email, well done and I love you.

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10 Comments

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  • Tara Curtis says:

    I absolutely love this. I believe that women should own their scars, and own the ups in life, as well as the downs. Society wants us to believe that all is well, that if we put on a pretty face and a bright smile, we will fit in. This is the opposite, what really matters, and what really moves mountains is being real, being transparent, being vulnerable, and learning to be confident at the same time.
    T.

    • Lauren says:

      “What really moves mountains is being real, being transparent, being vulnerable, and learning to be confident at the same time.”
      Ah, I love that sentence Tara!

  • I agree with Melissa, too. A lovely piece, Ivy. I’ve been thinking about writing something along the same topic, but in a letter/ second person POV format. I love your reflection on how our experiences shape who we become.

    • Lauren says:

      Ooh please do write it, I’d love to read it – honest and personal pieces of writing (like this) are the best kinds of writing.

  • Melissa says:

    I think it is healthy to recognize that you would of never become the person you are today without the challenges and happenings in the past. Yes we all could of done things differently, but would we still be the same grown and strong person we are today? I to have had things I wish I could of done differently in my life, but I am not sure I would be as strong of a person especially for those I now help to raise and who will look up to me in the future. A well done indeed!

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