losing control, how to plan for the future, being in control, destiny, fate, making something for yourself, success, create a life that you want, this stuff is golden,

Only You Are In Control Of Your Future

Just like any interview, I was asked to give an example of when something had gone wrong (and how I fixed it). I gave a prepared example and they nodded along. The question itself got me thinking about past mistakes, regrets, and how I have managed to move on from tough times.

When something bad happens to you, or you’ve been having a particularly bad month, year, or more, it can feel very isolating. Sometimes it can feel as if nobody will ever look at you like they used to because they know what happened to you or what you are going through. That kind of judgement can be unfair and suffocating. Nobody wants to be known for something painful and terrible that happened to them. Nobody wants that as their defining moment.

What I have learnt recently is that it’s not about what has gone wrong in life – it’s about what we have learnt from it and how we’ll use that experience for something better.

In no way am I suggesting that you should quickly move on from whatever happened to you – moving on from anything takes a lot of time and a lot of healing. During that healing time your emotions and feelings are all completely valid, and you should be receiving the support that you need whenever you need it.

What I do mean is that the thing that went wrong, the thing that happened to you, will not define your future. You will be able to move on from it eventually.

This time last year I didn’t think I’d ever get back to my usual self, let alone see the year through. It’s taken me around 16 months to finally feel this way. I’m not as anxious about meeting new people anymore, my down days are a rare occurrence rather than an everyday thing, and I’m looking more towards the future rather than over my shoulder at the past. I’m also finally able to cross of more of my to-do lists, give myself extra projects, and have the confidence to attend (and ace) interviews. Even my SO has noticed a positive difference in me.

So whatever has happened to you, whatever you have been through; either privately or publicly; whatever rough times you have had to endure – remember that these times do not define who you are, and that you are in control of you life.

If you need extra support going through tough times, please do use these excellent services:

And always remember that you can talk to me, a friendly stranger, whenever you need.


  1. Melissa

    A great encouragement! Enjoyed the read to remember ourselves for what we have overcome not for mistakes or past pain. Glad you have found a positive in growing from your past!

  2. Nana

    This is so inspiring. Thank you for reminding us that we’re in control of our own lives. And I’m so happy to hear that you’re becoming more and more confident and positive! 🙂


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