We met at the very worst time. I had just found out that I was the victim of several years worth of image-based sexual abuse. I was spiralling but didn’t know it. I kept busy, I ate less, I drank more. I went after thrills even more than before. I wasn’t treating myself very well.
Anxiety can make me become completely paranoid. I imagine the very worst is going to happen and it’s going to be my fault. This normally happens when I begin to feel anxious about talking to somebody about something that has been bothering me.
I remember watching the movie The Virgin Suicides (1999) as a teenager, maybe at 14 years old. I couldn’t resist the movie poster of it – the beautiful Kirsten Dunst who seems to be looking at you and through you at the same time. And of course, there was the title – how was I …
I’ve been wondering about the lottery recently – wondering whether winning would make me any happier. My SO and I often talk about how we would spend it, how we would give a lot away to family, friends and charities, how we would be sensible with it (but perhaps not on the first few days).