Depression really hit me at Christmas time in 2015. I think this happened because I finally had some time off work to deal with what had happened to me months previous, and all my suppressed emotions came tumbling out.
I was at my mum’s for the Christmas week, had ordered brand new jogger bottoms from ASOS just for that week, as I was looking forward to doing nothing except eat and watch Reign on Netflix. I brought my running stuff anyway, just to make sure I didn’t lose the habit over the Christmas holidays.
One morning I woke up early and went out for a jog round the neighbourhood where I grew up. It was a crisp morning after a night of rain in December. Perfect running weather (in my opinion – I love running in the cold).
About half-way round my planned route, I noticed a note stuck onto a lamppost. This lamppost was in-between a cycle lane and pedestrian lane, so the note was hard to miss. I stopped to read it, and was surprised to read that it was a handwritten anonymous note about depression. I realised that whoever had written this must have put it on that lamppost that very morning, because the paper was dry and smudge-free, yet there had been heavy rain the night previous. I took the letter and ran the rest of the way back to my mum’s.
I had the intention of putting it back on the lamppost – but never did. The letter was like a fall-back for extra support for what I was going through, so I wanted to keep it for myself.
Going through some keepsakes last night, I found the note again and re-read it. Now I want to share the note with you lovely folks.
“Depression is hard. I know this because I went through a time in my life where I felt nothing would get better, but it did and that’s what I want to talk about.
Depression is a mental illness which is very hard to overcome. It follows you around. Depression is like a big, black dog that follows you around and tries to ruin your life. No matter what you do he’s always there, destroying any possible happiness that you could have.
To overcome depression you have got to show that big black dog that he cannot take over your life and you have to show him who’s boss, stand over him, make him feel small, powerless, intimidated, scared and afraid, inflict all your sadness, pain and anger onto that dog. If you do this the black dog will become afraid and back away, and you will gradually start to feel better.
Many people feel trapped and alone while suffering from depression, and feel as if they have no-one to talk to. Let me tell you something, no matter how isolated you feel there is always someone to talk to. Whether it be someone at school, friend or a family member. You are never alone, no matter how lonely you feel.
Some people deal with depression by drugs and/or alcohol. This can result in a spiral of depression. Both alcohol and drugs have been scientifically proven to make depression worse. Normally when people gain an alcohol or drug addiction, it is very hard to break out of.
If you have depression or know someone who has, tell them or yourself to live by the word ‘hope’:
H – Hold
O – On
P – Pain
E – Ends
because it’s true for everybody.
I hope this helped somebody and you can pass on this message to those who may suffer from depression.”