unlearning, unlearn bad habits, unlearn bad beliefs, goals for 2019, unlearn 2019, this stuff is golden, new year resolutions,

What I Want To Unlearn In 2019

I don’t really do New Year resolutions, I think they are a lot of pressure to put on oneself, and most of the time, they’re kinda generic; “join the gym”, “get a new job”, “save £X amount for that holiday/house/car”, etc.

I prefer goals. Goals come with plans, and plans can be changed, depending on where life takes you. Goals also don’t have to have a deadline that is set in stone – we all achieve things at different rates, have different struggles going on in our lives, so of course we are not going to achieve the same stuff at the same time. Besides, a lot of things are ongoing – they take maintenance, just like us.

I assume that most people are reflective at this time of year, but for Capricorns like me, I think we are extra reflective. In fact, what got me to start my first blog was the fact that my 20th birthday was fast approaching, and I thought; “for goodness sake Lauren, just start a blog already!” And here we are, almost 7 years later.

So yeah, my 27th birthday is coming round the corner, and I have a lot that I want to work on. My main focus for 2019 is that I want to UNLEARN a lot of stuff.

What do I mean by unlearn?

unlearn |un-lern| Verb
To discard something learned, especially a habit or false or outdated information, from one’s memory

There’s a lot to unlearn, a lot. Especially for a white, privileged person like myself.

Stuff to unlearn in 2019:

  • ingrained prejudice about people who are not white and/or cis-gender*, because yeah, all white cis-gender people have some level of prejudice towards those who are ‘different’ to us, and we would be fools (and racists/ trans-phobic) if we didn’t recognise that and actively try to address it ourselves
  • self-loathing, because I’m tired of it, it’s getting me nowhere fast
  • my emotional defence mechanisms that make me quick to anger/ sarcasm, especially to those closest to me
  • impatience
  • low self-esteem/ the belief that I am worthless and replaceable
  • the belief that I have to do everything all the time, that the sexist stereotypes I learnt as a child are not what defines me as a woman or mother
  • that British politeness is more important than standing up for what I believe in
  • that the art I want to make has to be perfect in order to be worth doing (that goes for writing too)
  • that progress/ healing should be quicker.

    What are your goals for 2019? Do you have any goals ongoing at the moment? Lemme know in the comments hunni.

    *= same goes with white, straight cis-gender people, however I am not straight (read about my bisexuality here).


  1. Rachel

    YES YES YES on so many levels! For me to unlearn: impatience, negative self-talk, low self-esteem. Also: I need to stand up for myself more.

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