When I See Others Achieve My Dreams

achieving my dreams, celebrating my own success, this stuff is golden, jealousy of success, what does it mean to be successful, reaching my dreams, dream job, writing a book,

I suppose I’m a bit of a jealous person. An insecure person.

When I’m scrolling through my Twitter feed(s) and I see that somebody completely awesome has achieved a dream similar to mine, I can feel quite deflated.

It’s as if they have taken my dream and now I have no chance of achieving it for myself. They’ve done it, they’ve ticked that box, so now there’s no room for me.

And yes, I know how silly that is.

The dream I’m referring to is writing and publishing a book. In all honesty, I see myself writing a book that’s similar to my blog in content, rather than a piece of epic fiction (though I would love to do that too).

Sometimes when I see those who have a book coming out, I think that they must have some sort of superpower. How did they manage to get a book out? How did they get it to print? How did they find the self-belief to actually finish a first draft?

How am I supposed to compete?

When it comes to achieving my dreams, I think self-belief has a much bigger role than one may initially think. Sure, you need a bit of talent, a bit of practice, a bit of perseverance – but really, if you haven’t got that belief in yourself to go out there and achieve your dreams, you probably won’t even try in the first place.

I think that is true for me. I start to write, trying to take the pressure off (the first draft is always shit, apparently), but I never finish. I can just about manage a blog post.

As well as gain a bit of confidence, I also need to focus on my own successes, instead of other people’s. As I’ve said many times before, comparison is a confidence killer. We all live our lives our own way, go through different experiences, and end up doing things in our own time. By taking note of what I have already achieved, I can potentially gain the confidence I need to reach a new goal.

Besides, what’s the point of being jealous if not to make you motivated? If they can do it, then I can do it too.

10 Comments

  • Suma says:

    There is so much jealousy in writing it’s unreal. It sort of makes sense, seeing as it’s one of the most competitive fields out there. I relate a lot to your struggles with book writing. People say a first draft is always shit, but when I look at my own I literally feel like I have to fan away the stink. So I give up on projects that could have turned into something amazing. I think a little jealousy is okay though, if you can manage to turn it into a motivator. 🙂

    • Lauren says:

      That’s very true – if only I could turn my jealousy into a motivator rather than a self-esteem crusher! Maybe that is something to work on, in a mindset kind of way.
      And yes! I am the same with the first draft thing! I have a few sitting, staring at me on my desktop that I just can’t bring myself to look at!

  • This is such an awful way to feel, but we all do. I am glad to read someone else who’s feeling it too. We all know it’s silly, but that doesn’t mean it is not valid. You’re right in saying that comparison is a confidence killer, I also often hear comparison is the theft of joy (which is accurate too). I believe in you and your book, and that if it is something that you are truly passionate about it’ll happen in its time, a time when you need it most.

    • Lauren says:

      Totally agree with comparison being a theft of joy – just like when you innocently scroll on Facebook/Instagram, see somebody having (what seems to be) the time of their life, and beginning to feel like your life is nothing compared to theirs, so there MUST be something wrong with you.
      Thank you so much for saying that you believe in me! With all the love that has come from this blog post I have to say I do feel a little more motivated!

  • Emelie says:

    I know how you feel. I get this imposter syndrome thing going on when I see that other people are getting published. “Who am I kidding myself?” I think. “The thing I want to do is already being done so much better by someone else.”

    And then I realize that it’s not. Because no one can write my stories better than I can. So I put my head down and I get to work.

  • Mr Me always tells me not to watch other people’s anything. Don’t watch their pocket (money). Don’t watch their social media because it’s just a representation of their life – the parts they want you to see.
    Don’t get so caught up watching other people succeed that you forget to succeed.
    I try to remember that when I see people buying houses, buying cars, living a life I can only imagine LOL. I am motivated now to get a job. I want that house so bad LOL.

    Stay focused, Queen!

    Emmie xo

    • Lauren says:

      “Don’t get so caught up watching other people succeed that you forget to succeed.” I wanna get that printed on a T-shirt or something!
      Thank you lovely – all the best of luck with your job search! If you need any help or anything feel free to DM me <3

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